


Eternity, Until We Rot

by QueenOfNewOrleans22



Category: Lords of Chaos (2018), Mayhem (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:54:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28427385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfNewOrleans22/pseuds/QueenOfNewOrleans22
Summary: Øystein wasn't a dumb man - he was far from a genius, either.
Relationships: Euronymous | Øystein Aarseth/Dead | Per Yngve Ohlin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25





	Eternity, Until We Rot

Øystein wasn't a dumb man - he was far from a genius, either. 

He knew what the feelings in his stomach and the millions of bursting emotions in his head entailed. He knew what each twist of his tongue and each awkward word was supposed to mean. Øystein knew that things were happening, that they were weird and strange and that he didn't like them, but he hadn't been given much of a choice. 

"Damn it." Øystein hissed through his teeth as he burnt his tongue on the scalding coffee that Jan had given him. In all fairness, Jan had said that the liquid was still piping hit, but Øystein felt a twist of anger blossom anyways, and he pressed one of his hands to his mouth. 

Men weren't supposed to have feelings for other men, it was that simple. Men weren't supposed to kiss other men, either. Those were the rules of life, except of all the people to have been born, Øystein hadn't exactly followed those rules, and he had no intention of starting. 

The coffee was dark, and the sugar that Øystein had added did nothing to help that particular matter, but he drank it, anyways, and stared at the wall, unsure of what else to do. He was far too distracted to go and get a book to read, or to perhaps make his coffee a little more tolerable and going to watch a movie on the television. 

Outside, snow was slowly drifting towards the ground, casually and softly, white against dark blue despite how early it was. Øystein sighed heavily through his nose and shook his head, wondering if Per had already made his escape or if he was still upstairs. 

Probably the latter - Per liked a challenge. 

Øystein grimaced at another sharp spike through his heart and quickly took another sip of his coffee. He was getting close to the end, where the sugar had clumped up into soggy chunks at the bottom. Øystein accidentally got some on his tongue and resisted the urge to gag. 

"Where's the sugar?" Per asked, voice surprisingly calm, hands by his sides, hair still damp from his early shower. "Jan just brought home sugar. Why don't we have any?" He sounded borderline monotone. 

"I don't know, Pelle, why don't you just go without it?" Øystein said, torn between irritation and plain annoyance. He took another sip of his coffee, which was just water and sugar at that point, and then glared at the blonde in question. 

Per's mouth twisted unhappily. "I can't drink coffee without sugar. It's gross." 

An annoyed groan sounded in the air as Øystein set his mug on the table and pinched the bridge of his nose, as if warding off a headache. " _Then_ why don't you drink tea?" He asked in a high-pitched tone, desperate to remain calm, cool, under the face of irritation. 

"But I don't want tea." Per's shoulders slumped. "You took it, didn't you?" 

"No, I did not. Don't accuse people, Pelle." Øystein looked out the window again. "I wonder why you're not out frolicking in the trees...?" It was a strange question, but surely better than the argument that they were edging closer and closer to actually having. 

"Because Jan made me help him clean the living room. He said that it looked gross and that I did, too. He made me go take a shower." Per sounded disappointed at that, and his thin lips morphed into a frown. 

"How rude of him." Øystein said sarcastically, rolling his eyes and drinking the rest of the coffee. 

Per stared at him, empty eyes and pursed lips. "You're angry, aren't you?" 

"No, Pelle." Øystein sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I'm not angry at you." 

The snow was falling even more quickly, now, giving Øystein a feeling of wintry solace. He sighed, knowing that so many things were happening in such quick time, but he wasn't in control of anything, and that made his hands clench and an urge to throw the mug at the wall became very clear. 

Ever since they'd formed this strange relationship, things had been rolling downhill, and Øystein didn't like it, but what choice did he have? He was in too far to pull out, now. 

Just as suddenly as Øystein blinked, Per had moved from his spot in the middle of the kitchen to right next to the guitarist, staring at him, unmoving, like a statue that only moved when nobody was looking at him.

Per was strangely beautiful, in that eternally cryptic way of his, all pale blonde hair and eyes the color of a placid like. He looked like a corpse - too skinny, with an almost lurching walk. But Øystein was still somehow so captivated with him, caught in Per's eternal grasp. 

"You're thinking again." Per said quietly. "About me, you, us, together. You're afraid, and you want to leave me. Why not, Øystein?" He reached out, one of his hands dangling uncertainly in the air, and, with nothing else to do, Øystein took it. The hand was cold, bitterly so, and Øystein frowned. 

"Because I can't." Øystein said. "I can't without falling apart completely. Because, as much as I loathe to admit it, and I do, you are my whole heart and whole body, one and my own." He hated to admit it so freely, but the words fell like a prayer, so certain, so final. 

Øystein pulled Per down, until they were nearly face-to-face, brown meeting blue, millions of unsaid emotions that could never be agreed upon. "You are driving me crazy alongside yourself, Pelle." He whispered. "It's crazy, no? But I can't resist." A small sigh fell from Øystein's lips, and he leaned toward to hesitantly brush them against Per's. 

"But we promised. Together. For eternity." Per frowned. "Until we both die and rot."

With the slightest smile, Øystein kissed him once more. "You would like that, wouldn't you? To rot underneath the ground, with maggots eating up your insides." The thought made him shiver. 

"I suppose. As long as you're right there with me." Per said. 

And, for two men who were going through the most tumultuous time in their short lives, that would have to do. 

**Author's Note:**

> I could've done better, but I'm too exhausted for much more. I hope this is good.


End file.
